“First I thought that you were just mad at me, but it went deeper. Fine here.” I said sounding like a bitchier Siri. Gay sex Okay?”“Yeah, Alex,” Ted says nervously. I wanted to scream. “Any special ladies in your life?”“Or guys.” He amended nonchalantly.“Gu—Teddy! I wrote it in one sleepless night because of Alex. He could have dated hotter, but I’d ensnared him with my “pathetic kicked puppy routine.” Every time he hit me, he’d come home the next day blubbering with the ritual offering of flowers and a heartfelt apology.In an interesting turn of events, my advisor, Dr. Ted is fumbling with my pants. I had just started my doctoral studies here at Chapel Hill. Except this was something else entirely.“Hey.” Oh my God, I’d know that baritone anywhere.“Hi.” Eloquent as always!“Alex?” He asked. It was always the same: if the car ride home from whichever get together we’d gone to was quiet and tense, I knew I was going to get it. I can’t discern the way forward. There was something off about you, little dude,” Ted elaborates. I love him for it.“You are a horrible influence!” I say exiting the ice cream place having stuffed myself on two mighty scoops of rich double chocolate ice cream.“And you are a slob.”
