I’d had a few boyfriends, and every time I fell for a guy I’d lose my writing edge. I enjoyed his company, but I thought of him as a sort of sweet nerd of a guy, with his round glasses and dowdy oversized hoodies, and his penchant for Lord of the Rings and the original Star Trek. “It all seemed safe, because the one thing I did not want was a boyfriend. Gay porn I like to know the market.”I never knew really if Adam was straight or gay. I started trotting and then running. This was huge. What do you think he’s working out for? He loved baking and was amazing at it. But I don’t have it. Didn’t that give you a little rush? And as you say, it has the virtue of being true. “I told him I wasn’t just willing to try it again. Nobody else on this green goddamn Earth uses ‘copious’ that often.”“Did you like what you read?”“A little too literary for my tastes. “Adam, thanks. I was so uncomfortable in my own body it felt like I was wearing a costume I couldn’t get out of. And I feel like I wasted so much time. I started to realize how cute his face was and how his smile and laugh
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