I assumed that he might have been an early casualty of COVID-19 because of the timing. I was genuinely shocked by my lack of reaction at the time. I could have been reading the nutritional information on a box of dried noodles for all the emotion that news of his death stirred in me. While it had been long ago, our relationship had once been intense.I was 19 when we met and began a highly emotional and highly sexed affair. We had talked about permanent commitments and even adoption of a child to take place when we were both out of college. We each were the first man the other ever bottomed for, though we had each topped someone else before. I’ll never be entirely sure why he decided to stop being with me, but he made his decision. At the time, it could have not have been more unexpected, especially since he continued to mention love and have sex with me to within minutes of his deciding to break up with me. If a heart can break, mine did.I wouldn’t say that I ever forgave him for what he did that day – or other thoughtless and inconsiderate things he did in the days, weeks, and months afterward – but I eventually
